On my laptop, I have four or five documents filled with notes about the horrific Hamas attack and its aftermath. Newspapers are filled with scribbled thoughts I’ve jotted down since Oct. 7.
There are so many threads — the brutal killing of innocents, the raging anti-Semitism, the toxicity of the “decolonization” ideology permeating academia, questions about the veracity of any information emerging from Gaza, the ease with which blood libels are believed about Israel, the zero-sum game exhibited by many pro-Palestinians who are unable to express an iota of empathy for murdered Israeli children.
Also: the support that I and our community has received from non-Jews across the world.
Yet I am unable to organize any of these threads cogently — and countless others not immediately coming to mind. My memory is shot, my emails are filled with typos and I often feel like my brain isn’t screwed on right.
My life, like so many of yours, has become dominated by the crisis facing our people. I am thinking about it 24 hours a day, so that even when I am not conscious of it, as soon as the topic arises, I’m immediately in the thick of it, my brain ticking away subconsciously. I have become practically incapable of thinking or talking about anything else.
Rabbi Avraham Mintz of Chabad of South Metro Denver’s words in his weekly newsletter put to paper my exact state of mind:
“I know how you are feeling because I am a Jew.
“I know the wonder and curiosity if your friends and neighbors are really anti-Semitic or are ready to be outspoken in support.
“I know the feeling of considering whether I should allow myself a personal pleasure and if I should be happy when our brothers and sisters are on the front line in Israel.
“I know the experience of reading an opinion piece and breaking out in body wracking tears.
“I know the feeling of being paralyzed at my desk in absolute disbelief that we are living in a world where evil has shown its head again.
“I know the feeling of disbelief that we live in a world where blatant anti-Semitism still exists.”
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Amid all this, there are local issues facing us, which I had thought I would address in my October columns. Lacking the wherewithal for a deep dive, I can share with you my approach to my ballot. I’m voting against Prop HH because it seems a short term fix with long term, possibly negative repercussions. As a general rule, if I don’t fully understand a proposal, I vote against it.
When it comes to the Denver school board, if you reside in a district where an incumbent is on the ballot, my advice is to vote against him or her. My vote for the open at-large seat is toggling between John Youngquist or Kwame Spearman . . . to be determined.
Shana Goldberg may be reached at [email protected].
