Unless you speak Russian, you likely aren’t familiar with the word, but trust me, America needs babushki. We need them big time.
“What are they and why do we need them?” you ask with alarm.
Well, first of all, they are not a “what” but a “who”.
The word is Russian. Strictly speaking, babushki is the plural formal of babushka, which translates as grandmothers, but more generally it’s a term for older women.
In Russia and the former Soviet Union, the babushkis’ role loomed large. They were the stereotypical head-scarved older women, seen everywhere, sweeping the street, selling produce (when there was produce available to sell), lighting candles in church (when churches were allowed to operate, which under Communism was just for show), scowling disapprovingly at rowdy youth and uttering loudly, “Eta nye preen-yah-tah!, which means not permitted/ not proper/not seemly, or, as our people would say, not kosher!
In short, the babushki served as community caretakers and watchdogs (and sometimes informers), barking out “Eta nye preen-yah-tah!, at every etiquette infraction, large and small.
They were the Emily Post (on steroids) of Soviet and Russian life, multiplied by the thousands, spread out everywhere.
Decades ago, when I studied in Moscow and Leningrad (now St. Petersburg), I was all too often on the receiving end of the dreaded reprimand. Each time, my Russian friends teased that my inept, uncultured American ways had again caused some inadvertent social faux pas that offended the stern ladies’ manners and mores. While my friends laughed, I was mortified.
Yet, today, I long for the babushki.
Because we Americans have become a nation of louts! We have lost our manners. Lost our civility. Lost our basic courtesy.
The list of our lapses is long:
We yawn without covering our mouths.
We walk with our heads down, staring at our phones, plowing into other people without saying, “Oops, I’m sorry.”
When driving, we switch lanes without signaling. (Admittedly, the babushka would have a hard time shouting “Eta nye preen-yah-tah! at drivers speeding by, but still, I dream. Perhaps we could arm them with those tee-shirt cannon guns used at sporting events, and they could shoot water balloons.)
We stand in front of priceless paintings in museums, take selfies, and block other people from seeing the art.
We chew food loudly . . . and with our mouths open, and we pop gum that rivals the sound of Rice Krispies’ snap, crackle, and pop.
We text and talk during movies or live theater performances! Off with their phones and possibly heads!
Save us from ourselves, dear babushki!
Sometimes I worry that I focus too much on people’s lack of manners. I worry that I have grown intolerant and become, Heaven forbid, a grouchy old person. That I’ve become mean-spirited. Self-righteous.
Although I admit some of my reactions do stem from a different set of generational values, still, courtesy and safety seem like pretty good core values to retain no matter the era.
Also, I know that, as a Jew, I am grounded in derech eretz (civility), which calls for honorable, dignified behavior and teaches us to be respectful and sensitive to other people’s feelings.
So, what to do about today’s lack of civility? Short of importing a bushel of babushki to the US, I recommend we all pledge to be a bit more considerate when walking, talking and driving.
If I may be so bold, I’d like to add one more “Eta nye preen-yah-tah! item to the etiquette list:
No sticking your tongue out! Not for photos. Not for your fans even if you’re a megawatt celebrity! Not in public. Not ever!
This should be obvious. Don’t we all recall getting bawled out by our mothers the first time we stuck our tongues out? It’s disrespectful!
The only time and place it’s appropriate to stick your tongue out is at the doctor’s office, and only when there is a tongue depressor in front of you.
The only person who looked “cute” was Albert Einstein when he stuck his tongue out in exasperation at photographers who asked him to smile yet again in 1951. Otherwise, skip the tongue-wagging pics.
Don’t make me call the babushki!
© IJN 2026
