Depending on what youre hunting for, shopping can be fun, mundane, or depressing. Finding that perfect new dress for your daughters Bat Mitzvah flings open the doors of possibility and ensuing headaches. One must consider the price, the style, the color, the fit. Ever notice how department store mirrors imitate those huge distorting mirrors so popular at carnivals? Turn this way and you look great. Move an inch in another direction and a whale stares back. The dress is perfect. You have to have it. But lets get real. Can you really lose those extra pounds before the big day? Sure, (sure?), youll restrict your food intake and increase your workouts for five weeks. Then again, you might catch a cold and get so stressed that the refrigerator door stays permanently ajar. At that defining moment in the store, the idealized self wages war against the self you know and love. And you thought shopping was simple.
Grocery shopping ranks second to laundry on the dreaded must-do list. In this season of escalating prices, grocery shopping demands equal parts mathematical acuity and emotional will power. How much meat does a healthy person need to consume? How many times a week can a sane person eat chicken thighs? Whether to splurge on potato chips has become the existential dilemma of the day. Even coffee lovers have to choose between bestselling flavored drip varieties and the often blander but far more economical parent company can. Factor in carbohydrate counting, fat content, the degree of additives, and the era of mindless, grab-at-will grocery shopping is but a memory.
Whether the goal is frivolous or requisite, some shoppers rejoice in the experience. You can see it in their smiles, the way their hands float over fabrics, even in their studied contemplation of prices. Its a challenge devoutly to be desired, even ritually pursued. These people emerge from a store victorious, filled by visions of looking absolutely stunning at that Bat Mitzvah or cooking up sumptuous feasts for the in-laws. Those whose shopping phobia extends to finding a parking place without endangering life and limb might learn something from their confident expressions.
But however you approach shopping, remember to bring a little common sense and some hand sanitizer. Its probably a good idea to avoid chatting up the salesperson who just sneezed on your hand. Always eat before you go shopping. Hunger can lead to poor choices, whether its a dress, salad dressing or a new dresser. Carry a list. And do try to remember where you parked your car. Not only will you get home faster, you wont be embarrassed when you meet a friend as you wander helplessly through the lot. Maybe you couldnt find the perfect dress but your car? Please . . .
