Tuesday morning swirled with snow. Cars lacking the protection of garages moaned under mounds of white luggage. So you get out the shovel and dig yourself to freedom in the hopes of making an escape.
Think again.
Wedged between an SUV in front of you and a shiny red Corvette behind, it’s a veritable prison. Rock forward, rock back, forward, back — and still stuck.
“What’s the best way to get out of here?” you ask a male passerby. “Put your car in second gear. When the car grips the snow, shift to ‘drive.’”And off he goes.
But you don’t.
Heading inside your warm abode, you throw off your snowboots, find a pair of dry jeans, fluff out your hair, eat a bagel and watch the clock.
At some point, either that SUV or Corvette has to move. We can’t all take a snow day, although the TV stations are unable to appreciate this fact.
You call a friend. “I parked on the street and find myself trapped between two cars. Any suggestions?”
“Shovel around your tires and try to clear a path. Throw the snow on the curb, not by the side of your car. Keep your car in drive. Be forceful. Always works for me.
“Gotta run.”
You return to the blowing snow, inhaling white flakes like cold salt. Huffing and puffing, you shovel accordingly.
Sitting tall and confident in the saddle, you back up oh so slowly (that passenger-less Corvette eyes your every move.) Then you hit the gas like you mean it.
Almost there, almost there — until the wheels start spinning madly. Rock forward, rock back. Nothing. Eventually car and curb reunite.
So you go inside again, watch the Iowa caucus results and catch the end of a classic movie. You pull open the blinds. From your vantage point, you can only see the parking lot behind the next building.
You pack up your bags, turn off the lights and say a prayer.
Lo and behold, that SUV is gone — and you are free at last!
Copyright © 2016 by the Intermountain Jewish News
