Something wrong here. A guy 75 pounds overweight tells you all based on science, of course exactly what the right diet is.
You know the routine: People preach, but dont practice what they preach.
A guy cant hit a baseball to save his life, but he has no hesitation letting everyone know hes THE baseball coach for the kids.
[Check it out: Atkins Diet.]
Spirituality yes, this master casts a tremendous charisma on anyone within 100 feet. Hes a real guru take the term seriously, literally, as it does have a real, respectable meaning and hes the real thing. Oh, he is just out of jail for theft.
[The real thing: Big Breakfast Diet.]
I can manage your money, intones the broker. He knows how to invest; how to stay strong when the market goes down; how to erase debt and also your mortgage on your current income. Said broker drives a 23-year-old car and lives in a two-room apartment.
[No kidding: Baby Food Diet.]
The best kind of exercise you can ever do is to swim, says the former trainer who, for some technical reason, does no swimming.
[Who wouldnt want the Belly Fat Cure?]
Joe (not his real name) used to study in Rabbi Moshe Feinsteins yeshiva and can tell you that this product is 100 PERCENT kosher, even though it bears no kosher certification. In case you havent guessed, Joe no longer keeps kosher.
[This sums it up: Best Life Diet.]
Person X says he can advise the board. He was on the last building committee and knows all the pitfalls. Strange. The current building committee pays him no attention, since . . . the last committee never got the building built.
[When its nice to be a loser: Biggest Loser Diet.]
These days, you need to beat the airlines and their crazy luggage policies. You need to get that carry on aboard without the louts checking it. Just hold it behind your back on the jetway . . . So, tell me again, how did your bag get checked . . . then lost?
[A variation: Biggest Loser Simple Swaps.]
I can fix your car. Forget those astronomical prices the mechanics charge, not to mention those ridiculous diagnostics charges. My Dad had a garage when I was a kid and I know just how cars work. Double that diagnostic charge, quintuple that repair charge, after your buddy, whose Dad never worked on computer-constructed and operated cars, dismantled one module too many.
[Bottom line, best diet: Volumetrics.]
Something wrong with this routine here: Its the opposite of practicing what you preach.
Something wrong here:
Diets in alphabetical order, as if losing weight were as mindless as the ABCs. A subtle message, maybe, not to put too much stock in the MPH, the RD, the MD, the LD, the PhD, and the other mixed up letter certifications of diet experts who know, just know, exactly how you can lose weight, and lose it fast, and lose it safely, and permanently, and cheaply, and privately, not to mention conveniently.
Call me simple.
Call me stupid.
I think only one diet works.
The Non-Diet diet.
Theres no book on it.
No program.
No preaching.
No certifications.
No before and after pictures.
Certainly no money demanded, nor accepted.
Nor needed.
Its the Two Word diet.
Eat less.
Copyright © 2011 by the Intermountain Jewish News
