Thursday, November 15, 2018 -
Print Edition

The $20 gift

Dear Tzviling,

Last Sunday, I treated my mother to a five-course gastronomania at the local deli. I read that you do not believe in Mother’s Day. Please tell me it’s not true.

Bewildered (sent by e-mail)

Dear Bewildered,

I do believe in Mother’s Day, but to me, every day is Mother’s Day. I don’t believe in waiting until Mother’s Day to remember.

Call your mother today. Why wait until tomorrow when you can do it today?

In a similar vein, the approaching holiday of Shavuot, which celebrates the giving of the Torah, does not have a date mentioned in the Torah. That’s right! It is defined as the 50th day relative to the “Sefirah” count (beginning from the time we left Egypt), but no actual date is mentioned.

Same idea. There is no “Torah Day,” since we study Torah everyday. Get it?

The same applies to Father’s Day and Dear Tzviling Day.

Dear Tzviling,

In our egalitarian temple, we have an open door policy where everyone is made to feel welcome. However, we have a nuisance in the name of uninvited guests. We are plagued with a prolific problem of mice and have tried everything without success. We’re open to suggestions and figured if anyone had a solution, it would be you.

Melvyn, Salt Lake City

Dear Melvyn,

What a delicate issue. We are indeed expected to display loving acceptance of all creatures on the face of the earth, and certainly don’t wish to hurt any feelings. The trick is to get rid of the mice without making them feel unwelcome.

Here is what you do:

Next time they show up, invite them in, wrap some sort of tallit around them, and have them all Bar Mitzvah’d.

Guaranteed you will not see them again.

More letters in this week’s IJN. Order your copy from Carol at (303) 861-2334 or email@ijn.com.

Send your questions to DearTzviling@ijn.com, to be answered with wit, wisdom and humor by identical twins Rabbis Yisroel Engel (Denver) and Shloime Engel (Montreal) who share their combined 100 years of experience.




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