Mothers Day commercials shine their emotional spotlight on flowers. Regardless of the time thats elapsed since the last phone call or e-mail, send the bouquet and all will be well. How could it not? One whiff, and everything is resolved, forgiven, forgotten a 24-hour reminder of love, a temporary reprieve from failure.
No one is arguing the value of lovely floral arrangements and sentimental cards. You care enough to send the very best. But what do you give from the heart?
Jews are instructed to honor their parents, not to love them. The wording of this commandment leads to animated discussions in Torah study groups across the land. Why only honor our parents? Why is love omitted? Many of us examine the mitzvah with modern eyes. We also tend to throw in personal experience. Who wouldnt trade a bad childhood for an Ozzie-and-Harriet panacea? While we demand unconditional love from our parents, children young, adult, or boomer do not sign a reciprocal agreement. This genetic heritage may inspire incredible love or none at all. We say that love is unfair, even cruel. It might be more accurate to admit that love is imperfect.
Remember the mother of our infancy those tender, safe arms that welcomed us, held us, fed us, accepted us? Love seemed so easy. Baby has a need; mother answers it. In adolescence, children cant get far enough away from their mothers. Before you know it, these children grow into young adults who fall in love and begin lives of their own.
Yes, mothers will cherish those flowers on Sunday, May 10. A phone call is even better. A special dinner with the whole family? Priceless. However problematic the relationship, the powerful bond sustains. Like life itself, its far from perfect but its what we know, all we know, and wont come our way again.
