I have recently reached the conclusion that the Jewish world needs to be a “safe space” now. There are so many challenges, both physical and emotional, and most are not visible from the outside. Think about the wife of the injured soldier, the cousin of the kidnapped kibbutznik, the student of the educational counselor who was murdered this week — on the street, you would never know what they are experiencing.
Hila Tamir Adar, a social worker, approached me and discussed her notion of expanding the safe space. During Covid, she worked closely with people with disabilities who were informed about the deaths of their loved ones. Since then, she has dedicated her thesis to this issue.
She’s traveled to Europe to study the field, and developed a project called, “The Bitter News.”
How do you inform a person with cognitive and developmental disabilities that a family member was murdered or kidnapped during Simchat Torah? How do you explain issues like death, funerals, shiva?
Hila initiated a protocol for all caregivers, from doctors to IDF officers. It is important to her that it reaches the wider audience.
Hila connected me with Yael Keidar, 41, a resident of Kibbutz Be’eri, with mild intellectual disabilities. On Simchat Torah, she had been staying at the home of her parents, Ofra and Sami, both of whom were murdered. She stayed in the safe room for long hours until she was rescued.
The body of her mother is still being held by Hamas.
Hila recounts that Yael’s parents had set up a therapeutic farm for her at the kibbutz and always gave her a sense of independence.
“It’s amazing to see how the empowering sentences that they told Yael all her life give her strength now,” Hila said.
“Her mother Ofra was a cheerful and hardworking woman who loved sports and gardening, and volunteered at the kibbutz’s pet corner. She is a model for parents with a child who is not ‘according to the book.’ Her healthy worldview toward Yael is simply inspiring.”
The motto “Together we will win,” says Hila, includes people with disabilities. About a month-and-a-half after Oct. 7, she held a farewell ceremony with Yael at the family’s burned house.
“As long as there was no official funeral, Yael feels that the event is not over. She doesn’t fully understand. That’s why it was important to initiate this ceremony, to enable her to part respectfully and give her closure.
At the memorial for his son at Kibbutz Be’eri, ‘Never say tomorrow’
The following words were said by Avida Bachar at the memorial service for his friend, Yossi Sharabi, at the shul in Kibbutz Be’eri. Avida, a farmer on the kibbutz, lost his wife and son on Simchat Torah:
“If there is one thing that I want to tell you, it’s this: Never say ‘tomorrow.’ We came into this world for probably 80 years and that’s it. Therefore, never say ‘tomorrow’ or ‘later on.’
“When I would be in my office and Carmel, my son, who was taken from me at the age of 15, would call me at four in the afternoon and say, ‘Abba, come to the pool,’ I’d say, ‘Carmel, I just have four more meetings,’ and then I’d come home at eight at night. When it comes to those who are dear to you, never say ‘tomorrow.’
“By the way, when it comes to work, you should always say ‘tomorrow’! Put off everything until tomorrow. If there are people in the office, tell them: ‘Thanks, but please excuse me, I have to go.’ I told my secretary: ‘Listen, every meeting after four ois unnecessary. Postpone it, reschedule it; close the office and go home.’
“Go home, have fun and make memories because, at the end of the day, that’s what remains.
“I am telling you, there is no reason to cry over those who are no longer here. I do not cry over Danna, and not over Carmel. You cry only over yourself, over what you missed. Because those who are not here — they are in another, better world.
“Friends, let’s get back to a simple, wonderful life.”
Adult Bible Quiz. The winner, 33, took his Tanach ‘everywhere’
Shimshon Jacob, a 33-year-old teacher from Bet Shemesh and father of three, won this year’s International Adult Bible Quiz. In his reflections, he shares profound insights from his six-year journey that led to his winning the competition.
“It’s been six years that every morning and evening, I’ve pursued my commitment to study of Tanach (Hebrew bible) — completing cycles and immediately starting anew. This sweet learning program has become a part of my daily life, filling and revitalizing me, providing meaning and a productive use of my time.
“It’s astonishing how lists and details I never thought memorable are now ingrained in my memory.
“Throughout these years, I maintained my study program everywhere — on Shabbat, during school breaks, holidays and ordinary days—always taking my Tanach with me.
“This experience has taught me the importance of the journey itself, emphasizing effort and investment over mere outcomes. Victory is gratifying, but the true reward is enjoying the process, particularly in Torah study.
“My favorite study spot has been a park bench, surrounded by nature’s beauty, where I’ve spent countless hours learning from sunrise to sunset, sometimes by lamplight. Whether it’s in a car during Covid lockdowns or on mountain tops near Bet Shemesh, I’ve balanced ambition with my personal limits, always setting daily and monthly goals.
“The intense preparation for the Bible Quiz unveiled my untapped potential, transforming the rigorous period into one of immense personal growth and pleasure.
“As I look back, these moments of intense study were the sweetest, filling every breath with learning.
“Now, as I write in the early morning hours, reflecting on my journey instead of plunging into new challenges, I realize how much I’ll miss this period — indeed, I already do.”
Translated by Yehoshua Siskin, Janine Muller Sherr
