America is big on holidays, especially those that relate to family members. Theres a holiday for mothers, a special day for dads and a national grandparents day that usually includes a pancake breakfast at pre-school. But what inspires these holidays is more than a positive earnings statement from the Hallmark company. The reason we honor our parents and grandparents is no great mystery: it is because they have given us life.
The Jewish tradition teaches that there are three partners in the creation of a human being: G-d, the father and the mother. As parents, we are part of a holy relationship with G-d as our co-parent. This idea can offer great comfort to single parents who need not feel alone in their journey to raise a child. It also implies that the way we treat our parents is a reflection of our relationship with G-d. Simply put: When we love and honor our parents, we love and honor G-d.
Judaism is clear about the duties children owe their parents. The Fifth commandment requires that we honor our father and mother and Leviticus 19:3 commands us to revere our mother and father. The positive commandment to honor requires us to provide food, shelter, clothing and the type of support and care that our parents gave us when we were young. The commandment to revere our parents is one of restraint and forbids us to disrespect, disgrace or degrade our parents, especially in public.
Jewish wisdom offers an amazing insight about the parent-child relationship. While we are commanded to love G-d, our neighbors and even the stranger among us, nowhere in the Torah are we commanded to love our parents. How can that be?
Our sages teach that it is because loving a parent is assumed to be so natural that it need not be stated. But for some children, especially those who have suffered parental abuse, that is not the case. Because the Torah was given to us to live by and the we are meant to be able to fulfill the commandments, it is possible that we are not commanded to love our parents because it is just not possible for everyone to do so.
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