I’m in debt

CHANUKAH EDITION
SECTION A PAGE 4

Don’t you get mail and sometimes you know what’s in the envelope even before you open it?

For example, wedding invitations seem to come in a common size and shape. And the envelope is somewhat thick, not to mention the double address on the back. You know what awaits you.

Good news.

Then there’s the opposite. I received an envelope last Friday with a multi-line, government return address. I just knew it was bad news. The return address read, “Colorado Department of Personnel and Administration. Division of Finance and Procurement. 1525 Sherman Street. Denver, CO 80203.”

I never heard of the Colorado Department of Personnel and Administration before. Then that tagline: “Divison of Finance . . . ” Uh oh, what did I do?

Warily, I opened the envelope and right away, the upper right hand corner says, “Central Collection Services.” Then, in smaller type, “Collector of Debt for the State of Colorado.”

Just what I needed as the Sabbath was approaching. How would I access Sabbath tranquility knowing that I’m now in debt? And that the State of Colorado is running after me?

I read on.

“Client Reference No: PID100954.”

On my, this is official!

“STATE TAX OFFSET NOTICE,” the headline screams beneath all of the technical stuff. I begin to read. “Our records indicate outstanding debts owed the State of Colorado on the account above. Be advised that Colorado Revised Statutes 24-30-201.4 and 39-21-108(3)(a)(i) all to the State be deducted or offset from a taxpayer’s Colorado State income tax return. . . . ”

I’m not sure I get this, but it seems that I can’t even appeal. The State will just dock me everything I owe, taking it away from my tax refund, which, of course, I have no assurance of getting.

Should I get a lawyer?

Is my house at risk?

Are there any criminal penalties for me here?

Am I facing debtor’s prison?

The notice kindly advises me that if I “feel the need to discuss this matter,” I can call such-and-such a number.

Wait a minute . . . I read further . . . a bit of relief. The next paragraph says that I “may dispute the tax offset for this debt by submitting a written Tax Offset hearing request.”

Then the next sentence deflates me. For a minute there, I thought I had some rights. But the next sentence sets me straight: “The purpose of the hearing is not to discuss the validity of the debt” and so on and so forth.

Well, just as I’m stewing in my juices, struggling to figure out how I will come into the Sabbath at peace, not to mention figuring out what this debt is for, and how much damage the State will set me back, and how much my life and freedom are at risk, I glance at the “balance due” line.

It reads: “$0.01.”

“Payments can be made online at www.colorado. gov/ccs. Visa and MasterCard Accepted.”

I don’t know how much money it took the State to process this $0.01 debt, and to mail me the STATE TAX OFFSET NOTICE, and to send the $0.01 debt over to the State income tax people to duly deduct it from my as yet mythical tax refund; nor do I know how much it would cost me to pay this $0.01 debt online, but let’s face it: Justice is justice.

If I owe $0.01, then the State of Colorado better find a way to collect it.

The wheels of government must be kept moving.

It’s not the amount; it’s the principle that matters, needless to say.

After all, duly embossed on this STATE TAX OFSET NOTICE is the seal of the State of Colorado, duly dated 1876. Our proud history as the Centennial State got where it is today because it never compromised its integrity.

If $0.01 is owed the state, then by golly the State is going to collect it!

Actually, going into the Sabbath, I made a decison.

I will not dispute this debt.

I will not request a hearing.

I will not submit a copy of this notice within thirty (30) days of the postmark on the envelope.

I will not pay the debt, with a check payable to: Central Collections Services.

Maybe I will have a tax refund next year, and the State will deduct my debt; and maybe I won’t have a tax refund, and the State will come after me.

I’m just going to take my chances.

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg may be reached at [email protected].

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