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Ida Goldberger dies

Friday, April 2, 7:15 a.m., Rose Hill Cemetery: Family and a few friends gathered as clouds parted and the early morning sun rose over motionless trees.

Ida Goldberger

The wood coffin bearing Ida Goldberger, who died April 1 in Baltimore, rested adjacent to her late husband Rabbi Daniel Goldberger’s grave.

Some stopped at the rabbi’s headstone and leaned closer, uttering words that escaped Feldman Mortuary’s livestream technology, instituted for COVID-19.

Ida — as she was known to her many friends and admirers — passed away at age 96. The burial took place one day later, on the fourth intermediate day of Passover.

Instead of a wall-to-wall filled sanctuary, her service adhered to both Jewish tradition and pandemic regulations. Eulogies are not allowed during Pesach lest they diminish the holiday’s joy; shiva does not commence until after the holiday is over.

An observant woman who brought joy and comfort to so many, she wouldn’t want it any other way.

Ida Goldberger lived in Denver for 64 years. After Rabbi Goldberger passed away in 2007, she remained here until June, 2015, when she moved to Baltimore to live with her son Rabbi Menachem and his wife Bracha Goldberger. Now she came home, for this final farewell.

Rabbi Yaakov Meyer recited the “Woman of Valor” in Hebrew and translated verses into English. He

then offered brief comments that departed from a standard eulogy.

“She was beloved by the older generation — many are not with us any longer — and the younger people who knew her while she was still here; vibrant and active until her 90th year,” Meyer said.

“When a child is born, everybody is so happy and cheerful, and when a person dies so much crying and weeping is going on,” he said. “But I think we have it a little backwards.

“When a child is born, we don’t know where life is going to lead them. . . . But when they lead a worthwhile life and leave such great things as Ida left: family, kindness, her impact on Jewish life, the educational world — just in the role of observing her, and her smile and kindness.

“Even though we’re not here in large numbers today because of the situation,” Meyer said, “we are greeting her with simcha for the many, many great accomplishments she achieved in life.”

Rabbi Menachem Goldberger stood at the lectern in a long dark coat, his white beard flowing beneath his mask, and paid tribute to the woman he instinctively, and lovingly, called “Mom.”

He first intoned the 23rd Psalm in Hebrew followed by English. A lone bird circled in the background.

Goldberger thanked in-person attendees and those watching the service from home. Then his eyes reached out to the pine coffin before him.

This instinctive sway between public tribute and deeply personal feelings vacillated throughout his comments.

“You are rejoined with your beloved husband, after 13-and-a-half-years, to be joined in Gan Eden, and that is a comfort for us, I know,” he said.

“As Rabbi Meyer said, today is chol hamoed Pesach and we don’t engage in formal eulogies. But we can speak of a few qualities and lessons that we learned from my mother’s life.

“It is most appropriate that we learn from her, because her life was centered in teaching and learning. She was a lifelong teacher and a lifelong student.”

He lowered his head and looked at the coffin. “Mom, you remind me of the light and warmth of the sun, warming the lives and hearts of countless people with your warmth and your light. You took note every day of Hashem’s beautiful world.

“You would say, ‘what a beautiful tree, what a beautiful sky, what a beautiful flower.’ You really meant it. And we all took note, Mom, of the beauty inside you.”

His mother was “always complimenting, positive, encouraging and guiding, when guidance was necessary, in your warm and gentle way,” Goldberger said.

“You cherished every breath of life, and as we saw in these past few weeks toward the end, you fought for every breath until Hashem said it was time for your neshamah to return to its place on high.”

Goldberger offered a condensed biography of Ida Patinkin, who was born in Chicago in the 1920s to Sam and Eva Patinkin, “fun and funny, colorful Yiddish-speaking Polish immigrants.”

Ida graduated class valedictorian from Harper High School in Chicago and continued her studies at the University of Chicago.

Daniel Goldberger, a yeshiva student, also attended the university.

Ida’s first cousin Harold Patinkin told her, “There’s a young man here wearing a yarmulke. Maybe you should go out with him.”

She did, and they married in 1947.

In 1951, Rabbi Goldberger was hired to lead Beth Joseph, which relocated from 24th and Curtis to become a growing, vibrant center of Jewish life and learning for hundreds of young couples in the 1950s and ‘60s.

Ida taught students, including special education classes, at Hillel Academy for 22 years in tandem with her responsibilities as wife, mother, rebbetzin and Shabbat hostess.

“My mother had that gift,” Rabbi Menachem Goldberger said. “She knew how to stay behind the scenes and be supportive of my father and his many efforts, but when it was time for her to come forward, she did it gracefully and naturally. She knew how to do both, with dignity.”

During Rabbi Goldberger’s tenure as senior rabbi of the HEA, 1979-1994, Ida was a daily, pastel-suited, delightful presence.

When her husband became ill, she attended to his every need and always comforted him with her reassuring smile, facilitating his strong desire not to be shut away but remain active in the community — many of whose institutions he helped build.

Goldberger compared his mom to the Mishkan, the portable, earthly dwelling place of G-d in the Exodus built on peace, goodness, help and forgiveness.

As he began elucidating each virtue she possessed, his voice broke at goodness. “This is the most outstanding trait of my mother,” he struggled. “She was so good — such a good neshamah.

“We all felt it. Mom emanated goodness in our lives. You were so good, Mom.”

At the end of his talk, Rabbi Goldberger riveted his eyes on Ida’s pine box.

“I want to close with a blessing that my father gave to Bracha and me as we stood under the chuppah many years ago in the backyard.

“‘This is a holy moment, a moment of kedushah,’” he said. “‘But kedushah remains — not only for this moment, but throughout your lives. It stands forever.’

“Mom, your qualities stand forever, even as you are about to be covered in the ground. We love you. May your holiness stay with us. May Hashem watch over you, and your reunion with Dad.”

Some 160 Denver Jews watched Friday morning’s funeral and about 200 more recorded it for later. Memories transcend the cemetery.

Joyce Perlmutter, assistant to executive director Laura Intfen at the HEA, said that Ida and Rabbi Goldberger were part of her family for five generations.

“Ida always had a smile, and was warm and inviting,” Perlmutter said. “She loved people. Ida was what a rebbetzin should be — she was there for you; listened to you.

“If you had a question, Ida would think about it for a moment and tell you how you should handle the situation, or not.”

Perlmutter was proud of the way Ida presented herself at Jewish organizational and synagogue events. “She was there but she never stood out; she never wanted attention.

“Ida was someone I admired and appreciated. You could always feel the love and respect for her when she walked in a room.”

Once the Goldbergers came to Beth Joseph in 1951, members of Perlmutter’s family — the Boxers, her bubbe Mania Boxer — joined the congregation and grew close to the couple.

Rabbis Goldberger and Manuel Laderman officiated at Joyce’s wedding to Don Perlmutter at HEA on Oct. 3, 1963.

“I could always see the love between Ida and her husband,” she said. “They made such a wonderful match. Are they together now? Absolutely. I can see them both smiling.”

Neal Price, retired after nearly four decades as HEA’s executive director, sighed briefly before counting his memories.

“I first met Ida in 1973, when Rabbi Goldberger was handling the Adult Institute for Jewish Studies,” he said. “I actually knew her before that — and by 1981, I knew her extremely well and saw her almost every day.

“Ida was just a lovely, lovely, caring person, whether at Beth Joseph, the HEA or in the general Jewish community. A superb rebbetzin, she was a superb human being.”

Although Ida was Rabbi Goldberger’s supportive helpmate, she also was an intelligent, respected teacher and “her own woman,” Price said. 

“She leaves a legacy of warmth, leadership to the Jewish community, and how to live a valuable life.”

Marvin Rosenberg of Skokie, Ill., who was a professional in the Denver Jewish community with ADL and Shalom Park in the 1990s, had ample opportunity to work with the Goldbergers.

“It was a privilege to know Rebbetzin Ida Goldberger, of blessed memory, a truly compassionate person who exemplified the highest ideals of service to the Denver Jewish community and the community-at-large,” Rosenberg said.

“Mrs. Goldberger welcomed everyone with kindness, graciousness, care, sincere concern and friendship.

“Together with her husband, Rabbi Daniel Goldberger, of blessed memory, she restored faith in humanity through her kindness.

“She listened with full attention, maintained a consistent, refreshing and empathetic approach while being aware of the world around her. She was a source of inspiration to all who knew her.”

Ida left Denver, at least physically, when she moved to Baltimore in June, 2015, but she carried an entire community in her heart.

Whenever Ida talked to her Denver friends, curiosity drove the conversation. “What about you? Have you met anyone yet? No? I’ll keep looking.”

In case she missed something in the IJN, she asked about the latest birth, marriage or death. The latter was hard, despite its inevitability. “We’re losing so many people,” she would say.

Ida always ended her calls by saying how happy she was living with Menachem and Bracha, surrounded by grandchildren, greats and great-greats.

“I’m very lucky.”

Ida Goldberger was the mother of David (Hella) Goldberger, Joel (Marsha) Goldberger, Debbie (David) Beren and Rabbi Menachem (Bracha) Goldberger; and had many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Donations may be made to the charity of choice.

Copyright © 2021 by the Intermountain Jewish News



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IJN Senior Writer | [email protected]


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