Tuesday, July 23, 2019 -
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Here’s what to ask (or not!)

Dear Tzviling,

I have read many articles — including letters in your column — on the “shidduch crisis” (difficulties in finding our match) and how so many young men and women look for the wrong things when seeking a partner.

Could you please tell me the 10 most important things to look for when seeking a shidduch.

Lonnie, Denver

Dear Lonnie,

We’re glad you brought this up. It’s ludicrous how some people focus on trivial things which do not bespeak the true quality of a shidduch prospect. To clarify matters and de-mystify the search process, we hereby present:

Top 10 Shidduch Qualities in Finding our Partners in Life

1) Does the family use real dishes or paper goods?

2) What type of shoes does the girl wear? Designer shoes? Pointed shoes?

3) Does the boy wear shoes with laces or loafers?

4) Did the girl go to a seminary in Israel or one in America?

5) Does the boy wear colored shirts? plain white shirts? white on white? with or without starch?

6) Does the family make soup from scratch or use broth?

7) Do they use linen tablecloths or plastic ones?

8) What do they use when wiping the hands by the sink? Cloth towels or paper napkins?

9) Do they buy brand name napkins or generic ones? Scented?

10) Does he or she have a sense of humor to appreciate the irony of the first nine qualities?

Dear Tzviling,

I have noticed that many of your letters discuss the meaning and relevance of Hebrew words, especially in Jewish names. I once heard that there is even some meaning in the words “Abra Cadabra,” a favorite saying of magicians.

What do you say?

Rick, Greeley

Dear Rick,

Surprise! “Abra Cadabra” is actually a Hebrew statement which reflects the magician’s trade as he (supposedly) shleps the claustrophobic rabbit out of his hat.

Let’s start from the beginning.

G-d created the world through speech. G-d uttered 10 statements, and voila, the world came into being.

G-d said, “Let there be light,”and there was light’ — you get the picture.

The magician would have us believe he is creating new things. And so he tells us, “I will create as I speak.”

In Hebrew, “Abra” means “I will create” (from the root briah), and “Kadabra” means “As I will speak” (from the root dibbur).

Send your questions to DearTzviling@ijn.com, to be answered with wit, wisdom and humor by identical twins Rabbis Yisroel Engel (Denver) and Shloime Engel (Montreal) who share their combined 100 years of experience.

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