Sunday, September 23, 2018 -
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Fighting In-Laws Syndrome

Dear Tzviling,

I am expecting in December and I have a dilemma. You see, my parents and my husband’s parents are always fighting. Fighting about how we run our home, how we manage expenses, and now, about what name we should plan for our child. Both sets of parents have chosen a name and fully expect us to give that name. Tell me Tzviling, what is the best way to make everyone happy?

Evelyn (by e-mail)

Dear Evelyn,

Give birth to twins.



Dear Tzviling,

Thank you for your reply concerning my question about naming my baby. You will be happy to know that I was blessed with a baby boy three days ago (no twins). This Friday is the bris, at which point we will be naming our son.

My parents and in-laws are still nudging us to give the names they have respectively chosen for the baby.

Now, what do I do?

The only thing that I want is peace.

Evelyn (by e-mail)

Dear Evelyn,

So, name the baby Sholom — which means peace. You want peace, now you have Sholom (peace).

Get it?

Dear Tzviling,

Sholom is a beautiful name, but it won’t work. My husband’s name is Sholom. Help. The bris is in three days.

Evelyn (by e-mail)

Dear Evelyn,

Fret not. How about naming your son Shlomo (Solomon) which also means peace.

King Solomon had the wisdom to solve complex problems and we’re sure this will solve your FILS (Fighting In-Laws Syndrome).

Dear Tzviling,

I don’t believe this is happening.

Shlomo is the name my in-laws have chosen for our son. My parents chose the name Moshe.

If we give the name Shlomo, it will make matters worse, favoring one name over the other. The bris is in two days. Help.

Evelyn (by e-mail)

Dear Evelyn,

Name the baby Moshe Shlomo. That should make both sets of grandparents happy.

(I hope they are paying for the bris.)

Dear Tzviling,

My parents are happy. My in-laws are furious. They insist the name should be Shlomo Moshe, not Moshe Shlomo. The bris is tomorrow.

Evelyn (by e-mail)

Dear Evelyn,

You can still name the baby Moshe Shlomo. Tell your in-laws that you have two good reasons why Moshe comes before Shlomo:

1) Alphabetically Moshe comes before Shlomo.

2) Historically, Moshe lived before Shlomo (King Solomon).

Mazel Tov on the bris.

SEND your questions to DearTzviling@ijn.com to be answered with wit, wisdom and humor by identical twins Rabbis Yisroel Engel (Denver) and Shloime Engel (Montreal) who share their combined 100 years of experience.

Copyright © 2010 by the Intermountain Jewish News




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