How can you miss someone you’ve never met?
It’s a question so many of us are asking as we see hostages reunited with their families, and as we continue to pray for the release of the innocents still in captivity.
Last week, hostage Tal Shoham marked his 40th birthday. He was 38 when Hamas took him hostage as he was visiting his in-laws on Kibbutz Beeri on Simchat Torah. Three from the extended family gathering were murdered that day. So was the Filipino caregiver looking after Adi’s uncle, Eviatar Kipnis. Back in the Phillipines, Paul Castelvi’s wife was pregnant. Paul’s first child was born after Paul died. That child — named Paul — will never know his father.
That’s two birthdays that Tal has spent in the hands of Hamas terrorists, instead of with his wife Adi and two young children, Yahel and Naveh. In the 480+ days that Tal has been kept hostage, his grandfather Mutka, who escaped the Holocaust for Israel as a baby, died. Tal will never see him again.
Many of us have developed a special connection with a particular hostage, even as we continue to pray for the safety and immediate release of all of them.
Last week I spoke with Rabbi Avraham Mintz about Karina Ariev, with whose family he met and prayed with in December, 2023.
Denverite Cheryl Mirrop connected with Rabbi Doron Perez after she “adopted” his son Daniel, who was killed on Oct. 7, whose remains are still in Gaza.
For the woman I walked with in Washington Park with Run For Their Lives, it was Arbel Yehud, who last week returned to her family — though her brother’s remains are still in Gaza.
For me, it is Tal Shoham, whose mother is related through marriage to a distant relative of mine through marriage.
What’s strange about all of these relationships is that they are one-sided. The individuals don’t know any of us, may not even know how deeply they captured the souls of Jews across the world.
I never heard of Tal before Oct. 10, 2023. Now I think of Tal every day and consider him part of my extended family. I am praying for the day I will know he is in safe hands.
Suddenly, that prayer no longer feels like a fantasy. My heart overflows for the families reunited with their loved ones. I can’t wait until that day comes for Tal’s parents, wife and children. I can’t wait until they all come home.
© IJN 2025
This story was corrected on Feb. 19, 2025 to accurately describe Shoham’s grandfather Mutka.
