Tuesday, July 23, 2019 -
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Differences of opinions

Dear Tzviling,

Your column — especially the one about the seven habits of successful shidduchim — inspired me to write to you.

You see, I’m going out with a very nice girl and the relationship is becoming quite serious. But, as you can guess, there is one thing about her that bothers me.

She doesn’t agree with everything I say. She often expresses her own opinion, which differs significantly from my own.

If she’s my intended shidduch, doesn’t that mean she and I should think alike?

Harvey, Parker

Dear Harvey,

If both of you would agree on everything, one of you is extra.

This is the beauty of a relationship. Two individuals from different families and backgrounds, join together and create a team, a partnership, a home.

It is precisely because of your varying opinions and ideas, that makes marriage so challenging and exciting.

You learn to complement (and compliment) each other as you grow together. And remember, when it comes to relationships, things do change.

Before the engagement, he talks and she listens.

After the engagement, she talks and he listens.

After the marriage, they both talk and the neighbors listen.

Just joking.

Dear Tzviling,

This year, for the first time, I learned how to blow the shofar. I got hold of a ram’s horn last month, and began practicing.

It was a very small shofar, no more than two and a half inches in length.

When I showed it to my rabbi, he wrapped his fingers around it and told me it was not kosher.

He explained that if it can be contained inside one’s hand, without it protruding from the sides, the shofar is too small, and unfit for use.

When I asked my rabbi the meaning behind this minimum size, he shrugged his shoulders.

Tzviling, can you explain?

Avi, Zfat

Dear Avi,

Your question about the Shofar’s minimum size is a good one.

Get a wind of the following thought: The Shofar is a wake up call. It arouses us to do our part in making the new year a better year.

A year of meaning.

A year of action.

But, alas, some people talk big, but do not follow up with action. Their words remain as hot air.

Now, what is a Shofar blast, if not a puff of hot air!

So, if the Shofar is visible from a clenched hand, this symbolizes action.

If it is not visible whilst in the hand, all that reflects, is a puff of hot air. Not kosher!

More letters in this week’s IJN. Order your copy from Carol at (303) 861-2334 or email@ijn.com

Send your questions to DearTzviling@ijn.com, to be answered with wit, wisdom and humor by identical twins Rabbis Yisroel Engel (Denver) and Shloime Engel (Montreal) who share their combined 100 years of experience.

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