Supermarkets get a lot of flak for tempting shoppers (and their kids) at checkout with candy and gossipy magazines. But no one does checkout temptations like Ikea.
Shopping at the Swedish home furnishing behemoth is known for many things, among them how the experience seems to spur on and heighten marital tensions.
I used to wonder whether it was possible to go to Ikea and leave without contemplating splitting up. Now I’ve worked it out: Write down every item you are considering purchasing, and on pain of potential divorce, do not deviate from the list.
When things first started opening up in May, 2020, Ikea was one of my husband’s and my first outings. Social distancing combined with the desperation to go somewhere meant the queue snaked down the escalators and through the parking lot. I think we waited for close to an hour-and-a-half.
Then came the payoff. The furniture, light bulbs and dishes were just an excuse. After suffering through the tortuous Ikea maze, I arrived at checkout, where the item I really came for was waiting. Not scissors or cute decorative items. For me, it was all about the six-pack of cinnamon buns (OU certified by the way). The perfect balance of pastry and filling, sweet without being cloying, as too often happens.
You may have noticed that I’m using the past tense. That’s because on a recent Sunday trip to Ikea, I had the shock of my life. The cinnamon buns were nowhere to be seen! After a bit of searching I spotted a four-pack, but these weren’t the originals and they were smothered in the kind of icing I detest.
Naturally, we inquired. We were told that the factory that produces the desired cinnamon buns burned down. Sounded like a made-up excuse if I ever heard one. We turned to the ultimate source for the truth: Reddit. It seems there was a Toronto bakery, long rumoured to produce these buns, that burned down last year.
It’s a good thing I didn’t know this before last Sunday. There’s no way I’d have made the marital-challenging trek knowing the payoff wouldn’t be there at the end. Am I being too harsh on Ikea? Because even without the cinnamon buns, no crisis ensued. Really, it all came down to the list.
Shana Goldberg may be reached at shana@ijn.com.
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