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“Coming Together as a Community,” the Boulder Jewish community’s Tuesday, March 23 virtual vigil for victims of Monday’s shooting at Kings Soopers, was unlike any other in memory.
Thousands of people joined the 45-minute program hosted by Haver, Boulder’s rabbinical council; the Boulder JCC; and area synagogues. You sensed the the people, but never saw them. There was no packed synagogue, no lofty bimah. Friends did not collapse in waiting arms. Tears welled up unobserved.
It felt private, even as the whole world watched.
Viewers saw rabbis, cantors and singers in the intimacy of their homes, surrounded by personal photos and mementos, over Zoom, Facebook and You Tube due to COVID-19 restrictions.
Yet physical distance magnified each speaker’s raw sorrow, rage and hope.
The tone was set the moment Rabbi Marc Soloway of Bonai Shalom intoned “Eli, Eli” at the opening of the vigil, his voice rising and falling with powerful, rhythmic emotion.
We saw him, but he didn’t see us.
Soloway thanked the vast number of people “joining us from all over our city, state, country and across the world . . . Let me just welcome you from wherever you are and thank you for coming to our broken, fractured community of Boulder in the wake of this tragedy.”
Although convened by Boulder’s Jewish organizations and synagogues, “this is obviously so much more than just being about the Jewish community, because this is about our whole Boulder community and the trauma we’re all experiencing,” he said.
Faith leaders from the Islamic Center of Boulder and other traditions were there.
“We feel so much,” Soloway said. “We feel so much — grief and despair, sadness, anger, rage and none of these feelings have any boundaries. They are the feelings in our hearts, and our hearts are united now.
“We hope that this gathering is a safe space, not to start providing answers by any means, not even to ask questions, but just to begin taking some small steps toward processing our grief together, as a community.”
Soloway asked everyone watching to take a deep breath and “feel each other through each other’s hearts, even over Zoom, over Facebook, over YouTube in this perfectly imperfect virtual world that we’re living in.”
The victims of the King Soopers shootings “were parents, they were children, they were husbands, they were wives,” he said.
“We feel sorrow and anger and frustration and helplessness and anguish and pain — and maybe just a few glimmers of hope to begin this grieving process and cope with the trauma.”
Rabbi Fred Greene of Har HaShem said he kept thinking about the line in Psalm 118 — Min Ha-meitzar: “From a narrow place, I called out to G-d.”
“We find ourselves in this narrow, confining place; a place of pain and wounds,” he said. “And this place today is Boulder. How does that happen?”
Greene quickly listed other places of narrowness: the Tree of Life Synagogue, Atlanta, Charleston, Parkland, Newtown, Aurora, Columbine. Many of these wounded families stood with Boulder at the vigil.
“For me, and for us, I think what we need to do is to call out, cry out, express that anger and frustration . . . At the same time, no one will ever be able to take away my hope, ever. I refuse, because hope is a place not just of comfort, but of building a future that we want to be a part of.
“But now, today, I just feel like calling out, crying out, yelling. And I think a lot of you do, too. I wish we could be in person. I wish we could be able to gather in a way that we’re used to and take care of each other.”
Greene said, “I want to remember people that I’ve never met but many of you have. I want to remember souls, family members, loved ones, friends.”
He then read the names of the 10 victims killed at King Soopers:
Denny Stong, 20; Neven Stanisic, 23; Rikki Olds, 25; Tralona Bartkowiak, 49; Suzanne Fountain, 59; Teri Leiker, 51; Officer Eric Talley, 51; Kevin Mahoney, 61; Lynn Murray, 62; Jody Waters, 65.
After reading the last part of the kaddish, he added his own prayer:
“Please G-d, help us to be better partners so peace can descend on us, on all of Israel and all of the world. Together we say, amen.”
Rabbi Jamie Korngold of Adventure Judaism spoke of her friendship with King Soopers’ employees — all of whom escaped Monday’s blood bath.
“Vulnerability is the source of your power,” Korngold said. “Vulnerability is the seat of your power. The meaning of life is love — full stop. Your heart makes you vulnerable. And when you’re vulnerable and tragedies like this happen, it hurts.”
Most people don’t see their interactions with grocery story employees as I-Thou moments described by Martin Buber. Generally, asking for advice about cheese is an I-It moment.
Korngold assumed the latter, until she moved to Boulder 20 years ago and began shopping at the King Soopers on Table Mesa Road.
“I have experienced many I-Thou relationships at our neighborhood grocery story, and not just the ones you would expect with my neighbors over the apples.
“King Soopers is in many ways the heart of our neighborhood because of the employees,” she said. “We know them, and they know us.”
She rattled off names of employees: Ian, a bagger who literally grew up at the store; Clint, an older bagger who is about to retire. “He jokes that the store will not stand without him. I lovingly tell him that I agree.”
Then there was Toba, a wealthy woman who retired and became a bagger at the Table Mesa King Soopers “because she wanted to become part of that community.” Korngold sat with Toba as she died and officiated at her funeral.
One day, Korngold’s mother, who lived across the street from the supermarket, got lost in the dairy aisle. “They called me to come get her because they noticed she was confused and they knew who I was,” she said, holding back tears.
“We have lost 10 neighbors. It hurts. So here’s what I want to say to you today. The meaning of life is love. We experience love through relationships. To be in relationships, we must be vulnerable.
“It hurts. Still, I choose love.”
Jonathan Lev, the executive director of the Boulder JCC who has shopped at this King Soopers for over 15 years, called it the center of South Boulder — a beating heart of connection.
“While I’m there, I bump into so many people,” he said. “And part of what’s so incredible is that it’s a place where each of us can connect in our daily lives; stop and have a conversation; connect.
“The employees create that for all of us.”
He said the community must stay connected, supportive and love one another despite Monday’s horrific tragedy.
“But it’s also important to connect with the strangers among us as well, just as we’re instructed to do in the Passover seder — connect with each other, and connect with people you don’t know.”
Rabbi Charna Rosenholtz, part of the spiritual leadership team at Nevei Kodesh, spoke of the meditative power of exhaling one’s breath and offered specific tools to cope with anxiety, fear and other symptoms of trauma.
Songs permeated the vigil.
Michelle Wolf, prayer leader at Nevei Kodesh, sang Psalm 30, verses 9 and 11. Holli Berman, cantorial soloist at Har HaShem, chose “Heal Us Now.”
Micha’el Miller, music director at Bonai Shalom, closed with a vocal rendition of Olam chesed yibaneh. Based on three words from a psalm, it was written by Rabbi Menachem Creditor after Sept. 11.
“This world will be built by loving kindness,” it urges.
Copyright © 2021 by the Intermountain Jewish News
