Wednesday, July 15, 2020 -
Print Edition

Be careful what you pray for

All of my prayers have been answered. I was not careful what I prayed for.

I prayed that we return to the pre-9/11 days when there were no security lines. My prayer has been answered. I am not waiting in any security lines.

I prayed that one day our grandchildren would never complain about going to school. My prayer has been answered. They can hardly wait to turn on the screen to go to school.

I prayed that one day I could save on airline expenses to see our grandchildren. My prayer has been answered. I am spending nothing.

I prayed that one day I would conquer my unreasonable penchant to stock up on things at the grocery store. My prayer has been answered. I am not stocking up.

I prayed that one day I would not get so much junk mail. My prayer has been answered. I hardly get any mail at all.

I prayed that one day I could have a better work set-up at home. My prayer has been answered. I have more work set-up at home than I ever dreamed of.

I prayed that one day I would be exempt from a certain exercise that I really don’t like but which is healthy for me — swimming. My prayer has been answered. I am exempt.

I prayed that one day I could skip a dentist’s appointment without incurring the wrath of the dentist. My prayer has been answered. The dentist himself is avoiding the dentist.

I prayed that one day I could skip out on giving a class in shul without feeling that I was shirking my member responsibilities. My prayer has been answered. The shul isn’t asking.

I prayed that one day I could be late with the energy and water bills without penalty. My prayer has been answered. The utilities aren’t threatening.

I prayed that one day I would not put so many miles on the leased car and risk an overcharge. My prayer has been answered. There is no chance of an overcharge.

I prayed that one day I could come up with an idea for my weekly column without agonizing over it. My prayer has been answered. A single topic keeps coming back week after week. No more agonizing.

I prayed that one day I could walk past the houses on my street and actually spot a living human being. My prayer has been answered. They’re out in force, walking up and down the street.

I prayed that one day I would have more time to do the things I want, rather than run around shopping for necessities, etc. My prayer has been answered. I am not running around.

I prayed that one day I could buy a big batch of my favorite pareve ice cream tubs without getting a funny look from the check-out person. My prayer has been answered. The check-out person is too distracted to notice.

I prayed that one day this crazy trend to spend thousands and tens of thousands of dollars on family simchas would stop. My prayer has been answered. The food for a wedding now costs $150; for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, $100; for a bris, $50.

I prayed that one day I would have no reason to get aggravated at anyone in shul for any reason. My prayer has been answered. I am not being aggravated.

I prayed that I would never again pay a library fine. My prayer has been answered. The book due two months ago is still not overdue because the library is still not open.

I prayed that one day I would stop ordering books, as it borders on a compulsion. My prayer has been answered. My favorite book stores are closed.

I prayed that one day the media would stop obsessing on the presidential election. My prayer has been answered. Media obsess on all the mythical doings in the NFL, NBA and MLB instead.

I prayed that one day the world would stop obsessing on Israel. My prayer has been answered. The world is obsessing on something else.

As you can see, I have not thought carefully enough in what I prayed for.

Copyright © 2020 by the Intermountain Jewish News



Hillel Goldberg

IJN Executive Editor | hillel@ijn.com


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