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Reflections

Grief and I

MY HUSBAND Ray died on June 15, 2015, exactly three years, seven months and six days after he was diagnosed with lung cancer. Since that hot Tucson day in June, I have traveled up both coasts and through alternating worlds of numbness and unrelenting emotion.

This is a piece I wrote while at the gym about seven months after Ray died. It came to me as a quasi-revelation, the ideas fully formed as if the words had already been written. I jumped off the treadmill and grabbed my cell phone to record it before the words faded from the page imprinted upon my mind.

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L’Chaim: To your health!

I CONSIDER myself a fairly educated person when it comes to medical issues. True, I am not a doctor, although I often make recommendations to my family and friends as if I had completed multiple residencies. But between personal experience and having been married to a doctor for over 30 years, I definitely have a leg up when it comes to diagnosing anything that ends with “itis,” my favorites being arthritis, bronchitis, colitis and gastritis. Health care coverage, which should be related to...
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The Widows Club

WHEN MY beloved husband of 32 years died after battling cancer for three-and-a-half years, family and friends did their best to comfort me. It didn’t take more than a few minutes to realize that, with the exception of a first kiss, there may not be a more awkward social interaction than trying to comfort the bereaved. Everyone meant well as they searched to find the right words, posture, and tone of voice to help me through an impossible time. Caring advice, personal stories, grief books and ...

Last Updated ( Friday, 16 October 2015 08:51 )

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To regret or not to regret

To regret or not to regretWHEN MY husband, Ray, was diagnosed with cancer almost four years ago, we became a team, determined to face the challenge of living with cancer head on. From the onset, we talked openly about risks and probabilities as we aggressively researched and pursued treatments and clinical trials. We sought counsel from oncologists, nutritionists, integrative care specialists, loving friends and cancer survivors. And rather than avoid the elephant in the room, we decided to ride it....
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If a tree falls in the forest...?

When I was a little girl, I used to take long walks with my dad in our neighborhood. Sometimes he would tie pieces of candy to the branches of trees before our walk. I would delight in finding them when he pointed to a bird or new buds on a branch. I believed in magic, I believed in the power of trees and I believed him when he told me the “GF” (Good Fairy) had left them for me. It wasn’t until I grew up that I realized that GF stood for Good Father. On one such walk Dad presented me with...

Last Updated ( Thursday, 09 July 2015 11:27 )

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